- There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t
- If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0
- I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly
- My software never has bugs. It just develops random features
- Roses are #FF0000 , Violets are #0000FF , All my base belongs to you
- In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
- Hand over the calculator, friends don’t let friends derive drunk
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code
- Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue…
- The box said ‘Requires Windows 95 or better’. So I installed LINUX
- A penny saved is 1.39 cents earned, if you consider income tax
- Unix, DOS and Windows…the good, the bad and the ugly
- A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila
- The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong
- UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity
- Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
- You know it’s love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead
- JUST SHUT UP AND REBOOT!!
- 1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d
- Alcohol & calculus don’t mix. Never drink & derive
- How do I set a laser printer to stun?
- There is only one satisfying way to boot a computer
- Concept: On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape button
- It’s not bogus, it’s an IBM standard
- Be nice to the nerds, for all you know they might be the next Bill Gates!
- The farther south you go, the more dollar stores there are
- Beware of programmers that carry screwdrivers
- The difference between e-mail and regular mail is that computers handle e-mail, and computers never decide to come to work one day and shoot all the other computers
- If you want a language that tries to lock up all the sharp objects and fire-making implements, use Pascal or Ada: the Nerf languages, harmless fun for children of all ages, and they won’t mar the furniture
- COFFEE.EXE Missing – Insert Cup and Press Any Key
- Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning
- LISP = Lots of Irritating Silly Parentheses
- The beginning of the programmer’s wisdom is understanding the difference between getting program to run and having a runnable program
- Squash one bug, you’ll see ten new bugs popping
- Everytime i time i touch my code, i give birth to ten new bugs
- boast = blogging is open & amiable sharing of thoughts
- We are sorry, but the number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again
- Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted
- If it weren’t for C, we’d all be programming in BASI and OBO
- Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner
- Bad or corrupt header, go get a haircut
- Unrecognized input, get out of the class
- Warning! Buffer overflow, close the tumbler !
- WinErr 547: LPT1 not found… Use backup… PENCIL & PAPER
- Bad or missing mouse driver. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
- Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes
- Best file compression around: “rm *.*” = 100% compression
- Hackers in hollywood movies are phenomenal. All they need to do is “c:\> hack into fbi”
- BREAKFAST.COM Halted…Cereal Port Not Responding
- I survived an NT installation
- The name is Baud……James Baud
- My new car runs at 56Kbps
- Why doesn’t DOS ever say “EXCELLENT command or filename!”
- File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
- Cannot read data, leech the next boy’s paper? (Y/N)
- CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?
- Does fuzzy logic tickle?
- Helpdesk : Sir, you need to add 10GB space to your HD , Customer : Could you please tell where I can download that?
- Windows: Just another pane in the glass
- Who’s General Failure & why’s he reading my disk?
- RAM disk is not an installation procedure
- Shell to DOS…Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS…
- The truth is out there…anybody got the URL?
- Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…..
- E-mail returned to sender — insufficient voltage
- Help! I’m modeming… and I can’t hang up!!!
- All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
- Once I got this error on my Linux box: Error. Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue
- Once I got this error on my Linux box: Error. Mouse not attached. Please left click the ‘OK’ button to continue
- Press any key to continue or any other key to quit…
- Press every key to continue
- Helpdesk: Sir if you see the blue screen, press any key to continue. Customer : hm.. just a min.. where’s that ‘any key’..
- Idiot, Go ahead, make my data!
- Old programmers never die; they just give up their resources
- To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so
- (001) Logical Error CLINTON.SYS: Truth table missing
- Clinton:/> READ | PARSE | WRITE | DUMP >> MONKIA.SYS
- (D)inner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
- Computers can never replace human stupidity
- A typical Yahoo! inbox : Inbox(0), Junk(9855210)
- (A)bort, (R)etry, (P)anic?
- Bugs come in through open Windows
- Penguins love cold, they wont survive the sun
- Unix is user friendly…its just selective about who its friends are
- Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity
- Bell Labs Unix — Reach out and grep someone.
- To err is human…to really foul up requires the root password.
- Invalid password : Please enter the correct password to (Abort / Retry / Ignore )
- FUBAR – where Geeks go for a drink
- I degaussed my girlfriend and I’m just not attracted to her anymore
- Scandisk : Found 2 bad sectors. Please enter a new HD to continue scanning
- Black holes are where God divided by zero
- Hey! It compiles! Ship it!
- Thank god, my baby just compiled
- Yes! My code compiled, and my wife just produced the output
- Windows 98 supports real multitasking – it can boot and crash simultaneously
- Zap! And there was the blue screen!
- PayPal: Your funds have been frozen for 668974 days
My favorite:
Roses are #FF0000 , Violets are #0000FF , All my base belongs to you
But it could be a better version of this one:
R0535 r #FF0000, V10l375 r #0000FF, All my b453 Bl0ng5 2 U
Hope I’m not geek-ish
